Sometimes in the world you need to compromise with people. You can not always have everything your way. I know people who have an image of what they want in their head and refuse to except anything less than perfect. Perfectionism is a good thing sometimes, but sometimes you cant have exactly what you want because things don't go as you plan. A very good friend of mine once said what happens in here (school) is not the same as what happens out there (the world). When you get out there your'e on your own. Its the "real world" as he calls it. It's not easy and It's not fun but it happens and you have to get through it because sometimes life might surprise you and give you a good moment. He says that I am more in the real world than any of my classmates because of what I have endured. That out there there are millions of people just like me. If you are feeling alone, just know that there is someone out there just like you for you to talk and connect to, and to listen to there story too. That is what NGYA is all about. Please visit our site at ngya.yolasites.com. Thanks!
"this cant be the real world now, I dont believe it, when I cant see the truth" - The Real World. All American Rejects
"And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Connection
I am trying to think of ways to connect with other LGBT activists to network and build a community. I want to be able to be in contact with many LGBT organizations and activists from all around the world. I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions how to do that? I'm using twitter but I feel that I am not getting out there enough. What else is there? I have linkedin and facebook and this blog, but I want more attention from the LGBT community. I was wondering if there was anyone reading this with alot of social networking experience that could help me? I really love doing what I do and I want to make it known to everyone out there what I'm doing and what my message is. I know that someday I will be the big activist I want but I just want to build up a small community right now. So spread the word!
Thanks,
Emmy
"I'm not a princess and this ain't a fairy tale and I'm not the one you sweep off her feet, lead her up the starewell, this ain't hollywood, this is a big town and it's too late for you and your white horse to come around"
-Taylor Swift, White Horse
Thanks,
Emmy
"I'm not a princess and this ain't a fairy tale and I'm not the one you sweep off her feet, lead her up the starewell, this ain't hollywood, this is a big town and it's too late for you and your white horse to come around"
-Taylor Swift, White Horse
Friday, February 26, 2010
The Biggest News Ever!
Ok, so I was thinking about how I could build up my credibility and be professional. I thought about putting badges of organizations I belonged to on the blog and having people see what kind of person I am by what kind of organizations and associations I belonged to. So I started looking for associations specifically oriented with helping LGBT youth. The weird thing was I couldn't find any really legitimate associations that did anything of the sort. So I remembered talking to a friend that was thinking of setting up a website about LGBT issues and she was using yola.com to build her site. The moment I realized that I decided to start my own association to bridge the gap. My association would help kids connect and get active in their environments, communities and schools. It would help them get active and help them learn about what is going on in the LGBT world at large, even connect them to bigger LGBT organizations. This is called the National Gay Youth Association, and I have begun building the site at http://ngya.yolasite.com and though it is not finished yet I will encourage you to check it out now and to leave feed back on our contact us page. Also please feel free to promote our site on your social networking profiles such as facebook and twitter. I have started a facebook fan page for NGYA and enourage you to become a fan there as well. This is really exciting for me and even though I am still down, I know that this will make things better.
"cuz im in too deep and im trying to keep up above in my head instead of going under, stead of going under again, stead of going under again.." -In Too Deep, Sum 41
"cuz im in too deep and im trying to keep up above in my head instead of going under, stead of going under again, stead of going under again.." -In Too Deep, Sum 41
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Down, Down, Down
I feel so down today. I don't really know why, I should feel happy. My article came out yesterday (ill scan it later, I promise) and I feel good about all my classes (even my chem test). Even so I feel like I did before vacation. Like no one cares about me that doesn't feel obligated to. I feel like I don't have anyone in the world but myself, and that I can't stop the enviable from happening. I wish I could remember what happened way back when, maybe it would help me sort out these feelings, but I cant. I can't believe she got what she wanted, she complained and whined and still it came true. Why doesn't that happen to me, no matter how strong I am or how much I keep my mouth shut, nothing goes my way. I get so paranoid, I wish that I could make those girls go away. Even the ones who support me can't help but stop and stare, because I am different and different is not necessarily good. I don't really know what is making me feel this way, but I don't like it. I want to cry.
"hold your head high heavy heart. take a chance and make it big because it's the last you'll ever get, if we dont take it when will we make it?" - The Phrase That Pays, The Academy is...
"hold your head high heavy heart. take a chance and make it big because it's the last you'll ever get, if we dont take it when will we make it?" - The Phrase That Pays, The Academy is...
Monday, February 22, 2010
Ive been really preoccupied lately so i havent posted in a month....
So,
1. I dropped out of the speech...I couldn't let myself become the martyr for the school, I can't let them run me out, I cant let them win. There still will be a speech, I just won't be in it.
2. My BFF Hannah was going to come to NY next month but then she had to tell me she couldn't come because of her health and I got really depressed
3. I had a really long talk with my English teacher about how Heschel works, my life and why no one excepts me, not even my family
4. February break is here and gone and I still have not seen my CA friends or even talked to my Aunt and Uncle, I'm still mad at them
5. I dont really feel feminine anymore, I have to admit that I am not comfortable in my own skin
6. The GSA was started but then I couldn't go anymore because it was on a day where I already had a prior commitment, and I cant change it
7. Emma Goldberg (the person who wrote the article about me, which still has not come out yet) and I are working on a website for GSA's to connect with each other
8. I really feel lonely and desprate...I need a girlfriend...like now
Emmy....<3
-"I will not make the same mistakes that you did, I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery, I will not break the way you did you fell so hard, I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far"
-Because of you, Kelly Clarkson
1. I dropped out of the speech...I couldn't let myself become the martyr for the school, I can't let them run me out, I cant let them win. There still will be a speech, I just won't be in it.
2. My BFF Hannah was going to come to NY next month but then she had to tell me she couldn't come because of her health and I got really depressed
3. I had a really long talk with my English teacher about how Heschel works, my life and why no one excepts me, not even my family
4. February break is here and gone and I still have not seen my CA friends or even talked to my Aunt and Uncle, I'm still mad at them
5. I dont really feel feminine anymore, I have to admit that I am not comfortable in my own skin
6. The GSA was started but then I couldn't go anymore because it was on a day where I already had a prior commitment, and I cant change it
7. Emma Goldberg (the person who wrote the article about me, which still has not come out yet) and I are working on a website for GSA's to connect with each other
8. I really feel lonely and desprate...I need a girlfriend...like now
Emmy....<3
-"I will not make the same mistakes that you did, I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery, I will not break the way you did you fell so hard, I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far"
-Because of you, Kelly Clarkson
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Why do i never post???
Ok things that have happened while I have been gone
1. Prop 8, Courage Campaign
2. Student Senate meeting, speech should focus on me not on general LGBT stuff, I think other way around, told teacher, teacher helping me write speech
3. MLK organizing week, Bayard Rustin was MLK's friend who was openly gay and a civil rights activist. MLK had a dream that all people would be viewed as equal, even gay people.
4. went back to Live Out Loud this week and it was great. Gatherings 3rd wendsday of the month (next month feb 24) @ NYC Museum School
5. My schools first GSA meeting happened this week
6. No Name Calling Week is next week and my two freinds are organizing it. should get interesting.
7. My podcast is now on itunes and on blip.tv my username is lgbtadvocate for both.
writing some memoir this weekend.
Love Ya
"Never thought that it'd be easy cuz were o so distant now, and the walls are closing in on us and were wondering how, no one has a solid answer when your walking in the dark and you see the look on my face it just tears me apart"- Down to Earth, Justin Beiber (yes hes annoying and sounds like a girl and yes sometimes i feel like i want to rip out his vocal chords (just kidding) but he has great lyrics in some of his songs and I really want to tell him my story. Some day, some day.)
1. Prop 8, Courage Campaign
2. Student Senate meeting, speech should focus on me not on general LGBT stuff, I think other way around, told teacher, teacher helping me write speech
3. MLK organizing week, Bayard Rustin was MLK's friend who was openly gay and a civil rights activist. MLK had a dream that all people would be viewed as equal, even gay people.
4. went back to Live Out Loud this week and it was great. Gatherings 3rd wendsday of the month (next month feb 24) @ NYC Museum School
5. My schools first GSA meeting happened this week
6. No Name Calling Week is next week and my two freinds are organizing it. should get interesting.
7. My podcast is now on itunes and on blip.tv my username is lgbtadvocate for both.
writing some memoir this weekend.
Love Ya
"Never thought that it'd be easy cuz were o so distant now, and the walls are closing in on us and were wondering how, no one has a solid answer when your walking in the dark and you see the look on my face it just tears me apart"- Down to Earth, Justin Beiber (yes hes annoying and sounds like a girl and yes sometimes i feel like i want to rip out his vocal chords (just kidding) but he has great lyrics in some of his songs and I really want to tell him my story. Some day, some day.)
Monday, January 4, 2010
Interview
Today I was interviewed by our school newspaper about gay rights at my school. here is the text.
Have you faced any homophobia at our school?
Yes, people have strayed and felt uncomfortable when i talk about anything related to homosexuality at school. I know that people also talk about how it is a choice to be gay (even my own family, some of whom strongly disapprove of my sexual orientation) when many studies prove that being gay is something that you are born with and is part of your psychological function. It has also come to my attention that people at school will hang out with gay men (mostly girls) but then contradict themselves by refusing to hang out with lesbian women such as my self (according to my father, even my own mother thought this) because they are afraid of being hit on. There is such a misconception that just because your gay you are attracted to every person of the same sex. Its no different being gay than being straight other than liking people of the same sex, straight people arent attracted to everyone they see and neither are gay people. and that is only some of the homophobia ive seen.
Do students at our school often use language such as "thats so gay" and "no homo" and what effect do they have?
students use homophobic language like their computers every day all day. Ask any sophomore, I am the chief policewoman at Heschel on homophobic language. On average i hear 2-5 homophobic remarks a day from people in my classes alone. Many times I try to stop them but they never listen. They either: (a completely ignore me (b tell me to shut up because its not important or (c (and this is usually with my close friends (yes they make homophobic remarks too, no matter how many times i try to stop it) they say ok, beat themselves up and then do it again two days later. I have even recently encountered homophobic language in literature used at school. Over break the 10th grade was assigned Dr. Jekkel and Mr. Hyde to read. In the last part of the book i encountered the word faggots (more commonly used as fag) to describe the two parts of Dr. Jekkel's self. I know that the author probably did not mean for it to sound like this but I think it encourages kids to say it more if they read it in a school book or hear it from a person they look up to. That is why to me if a celebrity who uses homophobic language is not getting any of my support. Lastly, I think that no homo affects me so deeply because it is saying no (none ,like never again) homosexual (LGBT people) it gives me a mentality like there is going to be a sort of homosexual holocaust. It instills a great fear in my heart and gives me no hope that people at heschel will ever accept me or anyone else for exactly who they are and that depresses me to the core and caused me last year to do things is i still regret to this day.
How can people act out against homophobia?
People can act out against homophobia by telling there fellow classmates to stop using homophobic language, even in a joking way. They can wear pins that support LGBT causes. They can participate in events such as rallies or the Day Of Silence (dayofsilence.org) that support gay people an their allies. They can join the GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) mailing list and follow on twitter . If they are really into it they can contact me for more info on how I am involved and what they can do. They most important thing to remember is that its all about education. That 98% of LGBT students reported being harassed (physically or verbally) 2 years ago (2008) and in the same time period close to 15% of HS students dropped out because of that harassment and 20-40% of the 1.6 million homeless youth in America are LGBT youth who have been kicked out of their homes because of their sexual orientation. I have a saying that I want to share: "ignorance is not bliss, ignorance leads to hate, which leads to violence which leads to death, and death is never bliss." All that being said I have no intention of being political (gay marriage, dont ask dont tell) about this because I dont intend to be a politician. I just want to inform and change how LGBT students are being treated, not just in my community or in America but around the world.
Have you faced any homophobia at our school?
Yes, people have strayed and felt uncomfortable when i talk about anything related to homosexuality at school. I know that people also talk about how it is a choice to be gay (even my own family, some of whom strongly disapprove of my sexual orientation) when many studies prove that being gay is something that you are born with and is part of your psychological function. It has also come to my attention that people at school will hang out with gay men (mostly girls) but then contradict themselves by refusing to hang out with lesbian women such as my self (according to my father, even my own mother thought this) because they are afraid of being hit on. There is such a misconception that just because your gay you are attracted to every person of the same sex. Its no different being gay than being straight other than liking people of the same sex, straight people arent attracted to everyone they see and neither are gay people. and that is only some of the homophobia ive seen.
Do students at our school often use language such as "thats so gay" and "no homo" and what effect do they have?
students use homophobic language like their computers every day all day. Ask any sophomore, I am the chief policewoman at Heschel on homophobic language. On average i hear 2-5 homophobic remarks a day from people in my classes alone. Many times I try to stop them but they never listen. They either: (a completely ignore me (b tell me to shut up because its not important or (c (and this is usually with my close friends (yes they make homophobic remarks too, no matter how many times i try to stop it) they say ok, beat themselves up and then do it again two days later. I have even recently encountered homophobic language in literature used at school. Over break the 10th grade was assigned Dr. Jekkel and Mr. Hyde to read. In the last part of the book i encountered the word faggots (more commonly used as fag) to describe the two parts of Dr. Jekkel's self. I know that the author probably did not mean for it to sound like this but I think it encourages kids to say it more if they read it in a school book or hear it from a person they look up to. That is why to me if a celebrity who uses homophobic language is not getting any of my support. Lastly, I think that no homo affects me so deeply because it is saying no (none ,like never again) homosexual (LGBT people) it gives me a mentality like there is going to be a sort of homosexual holocaust. It instills a great fear in my heart and gives me no hope that people at heschel will ever accept me or anyone else for exactly who they are and that depresses me to the core and caused me last year to do things is i still regret to this day.
How can people act out against homophobia?
People can act out against homophobia by telling there fellow classmates to stop using homophobic language, even in a joking way. They can wear pins that support LGBT causes. They can participate in events such as rallies or the Day Of Silence (dayofsilence.org) that support gay people an their allies. They can join the GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) mailing list and follow on twitter . If they are really into it they can contact me for more info on how I am involved and what they can do. They most important thing to remember is that its all about education. That 98% of LGBT students reported being harassed (physically or verbally) 2 years ago (2008) and in the same time period close to 15% of HS students dropped out because of that harassment and 20-40% of the 1.6 million homeless youth in America are LGBT youth who have been kicked out of their homes because of their sexual orientation. I have a saying that I want to share: "ignorance is not bliss, ignorance leads to hate, which leads to violence which leads to death, and death is never bliss." All that being said I have no intention of being political (gay marriage, dont ask dont tell) about this because I dont intend to be a politician. I just want to inform and change how LGBT students are being treated, not just in my community or in America but around the world.
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